crawling into circumstance
by Mika Uriah
Summary: Abby always thought that it would've been a bullet to take her. Or an abnormal after she met them in the sanctuary. But, mostly a bullet - Abby/Henry friendship. Some Will bashing. T for language.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N: the song lyrics are from "make it go away" (the radiation song) by Sheryl Crow.

**I crawl into my circumstance  
Lay on the table  
Begging for another chance  
But I was a good girl  
I can't understand how to make it go away  
make it go away.**

Abby stared up at the ceiling as she listened to her ipod, she repeated the same damn songs over and over again, God she loved Kate and Henry for putting this playlist for her together.

She could feel the liquid enter her veins and her blood ran cool for a full minute and she hugged herself under the heated blanket to keep herself warm.

Tears filled her eyes, she promised herself she wouldn't cry again, but this was getting too much.

A warm hand brushed her tears from her eyes and she looked up and smiled at Henry, it was Henry's turn to sit with her through one of her bi-weekly chemo treatments.

Fuck Cancer.

Fuck Leukemia.

Fuck it all.

God she hated it.

She did everything right and she still got it.

Worse, she did everything the doctors have told her for the last three goddamned fucking months and she couldn't make it go away.

It seems like the only thing she had a way of pushing away and getting rid of was Will, he said he couldn't watch someone else die so it was better that they broke it off now than him just watching her die alone with the hospital bed.

Didn't he say after that whole abnormal ripping apart her stomach moment that she was the one for him? Didn't he say that? Or was it just a heat of the moment?

She was expecting the Sanctuary members to drop off too, but they were still there with her "when I said you are welcome anytime, I damn well bloody meant it" were the words Helen used when she came to her in tears, needing to talk to someone and not being able to call her mom or her brother.

"sorry," she whispered to Henry as she pulled the earphones out of her ears and gladly took the bottle of water that he presented too her like she was a queen and he was a lowly servant trying to protect her.

"For what?"

"Crying. Again?"

"Ooh big deal, it's not like you broke a nail or something."

"I didn't think I'd be alone in this. Hell I didn't think that I would be facing this at all."

He took her hands and kissed it like she often seen him do to Erika "well you are facing it. But you're not doing it alone."

"You know what I mean."

He nodded "and you know what I mean?"

She nodded, "can I tell you something I never told anyone before? Not even Will?"

He bowed his head slightly as he sat "I'd be honoured."

"I always…" she swallowed and started again, she looked up at the ceiling like it would hurt less "I always thought it was a bullet that would take me out. Desert-Eagle or something...just…boom and mist you know?" she cocked her head to the side a few times as if she was weighing her options again before she spoke "when I met, Will and you all at the Sanctuary, I thought a few times that it might be an abnormal to take me. But, mostly a thought it was a gun. I think it's something that everyone who decides to do this…being an agent...or a cop or whatever thinks about you know? That it's going to be some punk kid with a gun that takes you out?"

"One of my first serious girlfriends was a police officer; it was hard."

"Can I ask why you broke up?"

"Just fell out of love I guess, it's hard to explain."

A loud giggle brought them out of being sad, they looked over to one of the other chairs in the chemo ward and there was a girl: about seven she was laughing at a face her teenage brother was making. She seemed so happy, despite the thing that was supposed to make her feel better was also killing her slightly.

"What are you thinking, Abs?" Henry asked, although he was probably thinking the same thing she was.

"I'm thinking I got to fight this Henry. I don't know how, but God I got to fight this."

He's never been more proud of her.


End file.
